Claiming Lucian (BL)
Chapter 1: Heartless
I was versed at a very young age of how I should see the world in a perspective in which favor should always be on my side, no matter what the circumstance may be. They wrung every single drop of magnanimity within me, engraving into my mind that the light shall always be mine and the immaculate shall always be me.
As a result, I ended up standing alone, bearing the light which blinded me from the truth they feared of me knowing. And as I continued to hold on to the light that I kept selfishly for me; I realized a priceless lesson:
There is no light in loneliness. All I could see from that place was the darkness of dismay.
Ever since I was young, I was always curious about the world outside of my races domain. We were the race that isolated itself from the rest of the world. Because of that, many have suffered. Our power sustained the life of nature. Our very existence was the reason why the other races got to live. However, they did not appreciate our power and pushed us into retaliation that drove them into their own downfall.
We experienced misjudgement, we went through defilement and so we resorted to abandonment.
They committed their self-destruction when they discovered that those mindless creatures that wreaked havoc were once us. Without full comprehension of how things ended up the way it did, most of the races that once fought with each other joined forces and attempted to slaughter us all.
My grandfather, who ruled after a dictator, amassed ancients into one place. Using his body, he created The Great Genshi Tree and sheltered us from the outside world.
The exterior form of the trunk opposed any invading forces from the opposite races. The once submissive race finally learned to fight for their place.
Within the sapphire wooden interior of the tree, the ancients built an opulent kingdom of light blue-green walls. There, stood amidst thousands of petite and humble houses, was the palace. It exhibited the difference of status between the one ruling and the ones being ruled.
As we bloomed and flourished, the world we hid from withered and crumbled. Our absence and lack of mercy became evident to the whole world. I briefly wondered if deprivation could make greedy people regret greed or further give them the drive to become even more covetous.
Twenty years have passed ever since the ancients closed themselves off. No one ever got to leave except for one ancient who opposed the conditions of the deceased king. That ungovernable man was no other than my onii (brother), Lucius.
My brother was never the one to follow the rules and regulations of the kingdom. He was audacious, strong, and he was respected despite his reputation for being defiant. I idolized him and followed him everywhere. I wanted to be like him, who wouldn ?
He told me stories of the outside world and reminded me to never succumb to our races selfishness no matter what our parents tell me. He was trying to raise a rebellious son in me, our parents were well aware of that.
On the day of my brothers departure, my okaa (mother), and I saw him off. I held onto my mothers hand with a heavy heart and watched as my brother prepared everything he needed for his journey.
After double-checking everything, he bent in front of me and placed a soft kiss against my forehead. I toughened myself up and willed myself not to cry in front of him because he was always saddened when I was sad.
”Arrivederci (goodbye) little brother, don grow up too fast, alright? Goodness, you act and speak so maturely as if you aren six years old, ” he chuckled and held me close to him in a tight embrace.
I placed my two hands on either side of his face and gave his sharp nose a smooch. ”Arrivederci onii, please come back soon! ”
He ruffled my head causing petals to fall from my flower crown. Flower crowns were the status symbol of royalty.
”I will miss you. Don cause too much trouble for father and mother, understand? ”
Mother let out a ”hmph ”. Brother straightened up and gave her a hug which was not returned.
”Please do not worry for me, mother, I will be fine, ” he assured with a small smile.
Our mother glared at him.
”I have nothing left to say to you. You know very well of whats out there and you still decide to leave for these ridiculous peregrinations as if you are taunting death to chase you, ” she scornfully scolded.
”Okaa~ ” I called out and tugged at her dress. ”What is pere…peregrine… ” I tried to pronounce.
Onii sighed from hearing the same reprimanding for the hundredth time. He repeated the same explanation he gave the last time she was upset with him.
”The world needs us okaa. I cannot just enjoy the life within this tree knowing how much the world is dying. ”
Okaa turned around in disappointment and my heart dropped from seeing my onii get so much rejection.
Why must okaa be like this whenever onii will leave? She was being unkind to him just like otou (father) who refused to see him off and reasoned out that he was buried with work.
”Go, Lucius…you know too well what happens to us when we die yet you decide to get yourself slaughtered. ”
Onii rubbed his forehead with his palm. He was stressed and tired of hearing her complain.
I grabbed one of oniis thick fingers with my small hand and smiled at him while my other hand was busy behind me. I grew a white flower within my palm and presented it to him. His melancholic expression brightened, and he plucked the flower from my palm making me wince a bit from the stinging pain.
”Thank you chii (baby brother), I will cherish it, ” he said lovingly and kissed the flower.
He got on top of Argo, his trusted pegacorn, and patted its neck. Its body was a luminous blue that provided enough light by nightfall. Argo was always his companion during his journeys. It was by chance that he found a lost pegacorn in one of the villages he visited, and they became close companions ever since.
The ippótes (knights) of the gates placed their hands against the shut exit and gradually, the ivory metallic gates started to open.
The sound of the gates wailing was the sound of my unexpressed sadness for my oniis departure.
I waved at my onii to bid him another farewell and he twisted a bit from his seat to wave back at me. The light from outside the gates shone at him, calling him to come back to his altruistic duties.
At that point, for some peculiar reason, I realized how much I disapproved of his departure. It wasn because I felt that something bad would happen to him, yet I didn understand it well enough to speak out loud.
”Arrivederci Onii! ” I shouted.
Argo galloped out of the gates, and I heard onii shout:
”Arrivederci Lucian! ”
The pegacorn flapped its wings and soared up high. The doors then shut themselves after and the ippótes put themselves back into their stern positions like statues waiting for a lawbreaker to assault on.
”Okaa, when will onii come back? ”
She looked down at me with gloom in her blue eyes, pursing her lips in the same dissatisfaction as she gave to onii.
”I do not know Lucian…well just have to wait again. ”
I glanced at the gates in great wonderment and set up my excitement for my oniis next homecoming.
I miss my onii already.
”Okaa, why can we go out? ”
She grimaced from my inquiry but tried to form a smile. She attempted to structure an answer that would make me understand her side. She squatted and kissed my hand in adoration.
”Its dangerous Lucian. ”
I looked at the gates again and back at her.
When onii told me his tales, nothing seemed dangerous at all.
She released a breath of exasperation because of my persistence but answered, nonetheless.
”The world is dangerous and… we cannot die any further Lucian. Although our kind is the source of life, we are also the source of death. ”
I gave her a puzzled look from her vague explanation and pushed on. ”I do not understand, please explain further? ”
She cupped my cheek and closed her eyes as if to push away memories that haunted her for the longest time.
”Once we die Lucian, we become the very death that lives to destroy others. ”
She opened her eyes once more and great trepidation was instilled in them.
”We become the Catastrophes. ”
Nightfall came and otou tucked me under the sheets of the bed. He placed a kiss on my cheek, and I rubbed my hands against his stubble causing me to laugh from the prickling yet tickling sensation.
He chortled in response. His deep baritone voice resonated in the room. His skin showed a soft glow in the blanket of darkness, but my skin was abnormally much brighter than anyone elses. I asked my otou once why I was like that, and he answered with:
e special. You possess so much life in you that no one can match.
”Kalinihta Lucian. ”
”Good night otou. ”
Before he could stand up, I remembered a question I saved up for the day and grabbed his sleeve.
”Whats a Catastrophe? ”
His eyes widened. He cleared his throat once his composure returned. He laughed a bit, stroking my hair.
”Why do you ask, tesoro (sweetheart)? ”
”Okaa mentioned it when I asked why we cannot leave. Will you make them go away, otou? If they
e gone, can I come with onii whenever he goes out? I want to help others like what onii does! ”
Otous eyebrows scrunched up from my statement. My smile slowly faltered when I saw how negative his expression became.
”This is our home, Lucian. We stay here for as long as we live, ” he whispered. His eyes glared hard on mine.
”You are not allowed to go out of those gates, I forbid it. ”
I was well aware at that time that I wasn talking to my father. He was ordering me as a King of our race, and I was required to obey it no matter how much it upset me.
It was still nighttime when I woke up. I left my room and walked towards my parents room in hopes for asking for refuge. I stopped by their door when I heard them arguing with my mother sobbing.
”What if…what if he decides to leave like Lucius when he grows up? I can have that Lohann! I… I almost lost him when he was born, and I can lose him again! ” she cried out. My father groaned in frustration.
”But you can just decide on putting him under that training Meria he is our son! ” he snapped.
”I know that! ” she shouted back.
There was a long pause after that outbreak, and I waited for them to continue. My heart pounded strongly against my chest. My parents were fighting because of me, weren they? What did I do wrong?
”But I will do anything to protect him! Lucius is too compassionate because he knows how to empathize and sympathize. If we can train Lucian to become emotionless and loyal to our kind like the ippótes, he will have none of that. ”
”I can believe this! ” Father gritted out. ”This training system…will turn our son into something we don want. You do understand this, don you? ”
”I know that my love. I am prepared. If this will make him safe from the rotten clutches of our deceased people, then it must be done. ”
The door opened and I froze in place from being caught eavesdropping. Father was startled to find me there, but his expression softened as he knelt to level with me.
”Lucian… ” he softly spoke.
I looked down in shame and rubbed the tears off my eyes.
”Please don fight with each other anymore, otou, I get scared… ”
I took a peek from under my lashes and found him visibly gulp.
”Then, how would you like to no longer feel any fright? ” he asked.
I did not like it when I felt fear.
I did not like it when I felt sad.
I had to be brave like my brother for a price.
And so, I was trained.
I felt no remorse.
I felt no anger.
I felt no compassion.
I did not know how to love or feel love.
They eradicated the memories I had of my brother.
I lost myself.
I lost my heart.
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