Later Doll (a winter soldier fanfiction)

The museum was cold as a tomb, maybe it was one, I stared at the faces I knew all those years ago, faces of soldiers I fought next to, men, I had the privilege of fighting alongside now they are just ghosts of my memories, I walked into the Captain America exhibit, I flattened my cotton dress, it was navy blue with white and bluebirds on it, I fixed my hair and moved to the big pictures of Steve with those true blue eyes, sweet smile and the kindness I missed dearly, he stood in his suit with a big star on his chest; I miss his questions, his patriotic presence and though he seems serious, he always made me laugh.

I moved on to the next pictures to find those icy blue eyes staring at me and memories came flooding back:

The fabric clung to my skin as droplets of water fell from my hair as a breathy laugh took my voice, I wiped my brow pushing away the water that wants to fall into my eyes, I felt a jacket throw on my shoulders as flattened my mustard dress which completely wet and probably see-through; I turned to the left to see those icy blue eyes, that childish smile and hair that always fell into his face:

I slowly moved the strains of hair out his face ”we shouldn have done that ” I whispered into his air

”Where is your sense of adventure? Tam ” he whispered in that velvety deep voice.

”Somewhere with my appetite ”, I looked at his wet shirt that clings to his chest giving me a good view of his abdominal muscles, I sense his eyes on me, I looked up and he winked ”I am starving ” he pulled out a pack of liquorice bullets, chocolate and a couple of beers.

”Your wish is my command, beautiful ” he smiled as I nudged as we stared at New Jersey, we sat along the docks. ”Paris, ” he whispered ”we could go to Paris, live there, grow there ” he nudged my shoulders as guilt settled in my chest ”love there, just you wait, Doll ”

I leaned my head onto his shoulder and he kissed my forehead ”Paris ” I whispered, closing my eyes when suddenly we heard a whistle, we perked up over the head to see a security guard shouting for us.

Bucky jumped to his feet pulling me to mine before we went sprinting down the docks, its a good thing I decided to wear flats, it made this journey much easier, we ran for a street with wind drying us off but making us colder as we went along, with Bucky running in front of me my life somehow complete even if we were running for our lives; before we knew it we were on the basement stairs of my home, it was dark, I couldn see his face, just outline of his profile:

With his hands on my waist, he began to snicker into my side ”ssshhh ” I said as he pulled in his arms.

He moved his fingers over my skin slowly, his fingers caressed my face, down my nose towards my lips which he skipped and curl around them towards my chin ”you are so beautiful ” he whispered into the night air.

I smirked ”thank you, doll ” he rolled his eyes as he removed his hands from my waist and face, he stepped back as I pulled him in by his waist with a giggle.

A light went on the porch upstairs from my place. ”I gotta go, ” he whispered as he looked to the apartment where a man shadowy profile stood behind a curtain, His eyes went serious but all I did was push my face into his chest where a faint scent of musk, fresh balsam and salty water sat.

”Yea ” I took a step back as he kissed my cheek softly ”later, Mr Barnes ”

”Later…Doll ” he said before jumping onto the barrier and up over it before running down the street.

I opened my eyes at the memory to see his face looking back at me. We were supposed to be in Paris, that was the plan but that seems like a lifetime ago. A lot happened, some good, some bad and some destructive but there are only memories I hold onto. As I was reminiscing of past moments when I felt a presence behind me:

”Must be important ” I turned to see Fury standing behind me in that ridiculous long black coat ”Phil usually gives me my missions ” I smiled at him. ”You never come in person ”

”Do you ever want recognition for your duty? ” He asked as he moved to stand next to me, as I turned to look back at the pictures.

”No, I didn deserve it ” I whispered as we stared at the different pictures, information and artefacts of history, remembering the faces of the men, remembering the terror

”We found something, something you will be very interested in, ” he said as I turned towards him. ”An old friend, ” he smiled as a shiver ran up my body.

I found myself in front of a steel door, the journey to the SHIELD headquarters was a blur, I touched the doorknob which sends a quiver through my body stopped me for a moment but I turn the knob as I was greeted with a tall strong frame of Steve:

”Steve ” I whispered slowly as if he would disappear if I spoke any louder.

He turned as if I was a dream ”Tamara ” I ran up to him and threw myself into his arms as he hugged me close.

….

Seventy years ago…

….

The corridor seems to consume the lights, I moved silently along the shadows towards a door where two guards stood ready for action, I closed my eyes entering the minds of the two guards finding their deepest secret, the one that contains murder and once I found it, I pulled it forward then forced an unyielding determination to fulfil the action, I opened my eyes to see the guards turned to his guard partner shooting him in the face before standing over the man shooting non-stop until the mans face was unrecognisable; I watched the action with distraction on my brow, the shots echoed through the empty corridor….

”Tamara! ” Mr Donald, my manager, called out as turned towards him ”your tables ” he uttered as I nodded.

”Sorry ” I whispered before heading to my table where Bucky sat with a sweet smile as I minced over to him ”Good morning, Mr Barnes, what will it be? ” I asked as he folded his newspaper.

He winked at me ”what the specials? Doll ” he asked the same question every day, just to get me to talk to him for a bit longer.

”We have a two-egg, bacon with toast and a coffee on the house for 60c ” I smiled as I listed the first special.

”How long is your shift? ” He asked as I pointed onto his menu.

”Its a double, ” I said with a smile as Mr Donald walked past my table ”we have a wheat cake, rashers of bacon and a coffee for 55c ” I explained.

”Can I walk you home tonight? ” Bucky asked while Mr Donald spoke to the couple at the far end of the Diner.

”Only if you follow my rules ” I began to write his order down, knowing exactly what he wanted, he always picks the same thing every day ”walk in front of me and when we come to certain neighbourhoods, we walked on opposite sides of the road ” I looked up at him as he rolled his eyes.

”You can ask that of me ” he huffed as I grabbed the menu.

”Take it or leave it ” he grabbed my wrist before I could snatch it up.

”Ok, ok, I will follow your rules ” He smirked as I took the menu just as Mr Donald came walking back past us. ”So I would like a… ”

”Oatmeal with cream, buttered toast and coffee ” I showed him the notebook ”I know ” I turned to leave as he chuckled, unfolding his newspaper as Steve came running past me.

”Morning Tamara ” he greeted before heading to Buckys table.

I walked behind the breakfast bar and pinned his order on the wheel before turning it to the cook at the back, I turned to grab a coffee pot before slowly refilling the people mug who sat at the bar, the diner wasn too big but it reminded me of a can of sardines, long rectangular building with long seat against the walls and a long breakfast bar that most seated with businessmen while the long seat was cluttered with idol housewives, lonely elders or newlywed couples who haven grown tired of each other yet, all bathed in a light blue and white colours like our uniforms; a baby blue skirt with a white blouse, small white apron and my hair net.

I moved back to Buckys table where Steve sat now and I smiled ”Morning Mr Rogers, can I get you anything? ” I asked as he smiled at me weakly.

”Two eggs, bacon with toast and coffee, please, Ms Tamara ” he smiled as I began to pour their coffee.

”On it ” I smiled as I placed the coffee pot on the table and took down his order ”milk? ” I asked as he nodded softly.

”How are you today? ” He asked as I smiled, Steve always asks me this question, he had this untapped wisdom he held, it was both assuring and intelligent but most miss it because of his small stature and his incredible courage that get him into horrible fights.

”Fine, working, you know ” I smiled softly, hating that I lied to them, I walked back to the bar to place the order in before moving about my other tables before Bucky waved me over again, I leaned against the table next to Bucky as Steve went on and on about the army.

I felt his fingers rubbing up and down my hip ”I have every right to fight for my country ” Steve expressed as I shook my head.

”Where are you from now? ” I asked as Bucky gave me his sign up paper ”Paramus ” I threw the paper at him as he just caught it. ”You could be more than being a brawl for the army ” expressed as he rolled his eyes.

”Like what? Work in a factory? ” He argued back as I shook my head.

”No, ” I said softly as I stared at him, ”like using your integrity and intelligence, men like you don go to war, they stop them, ” I said as I felt Buckys eye on me.

”Wars are not won but integrity and intelligence ” Steve scoffed with sad eyes looking at his sign up sheet.

”Well, they should be, ” I said before leaving the two men to get their food.

I leaned against the diner wall watching the last of the people scattered towards their cosy homes for rest at the end of the day, the pins in my hair was poking into my head, encouraging my headache to turn into a powerful migraine, so slowly began to remove the pins, letting my straight brown curls loose fr