Later Doll (a winter soldier fanfiction)

ory, we will not touch you until you are ready, ” he said as I nodded slowly and my heart rate slowed down ”you ready? ” He asked as I nodded ”we are gonna place this mask on your head and ask you to count down then the procedure will start ”

I raised my hand ”you can knock me out, my body won let you cut me open ” I explained

”But this is a very painful surgery, the pain alone will be unbearable ” he explained.

”Its the only way, ” I said as he nodded and turned to his nurse, one brought a mouthguard while the others helped the doctor clean up.

He stepped behind me ”I am making an incision into the neck now ” I felt a sting that turned to massive pain, I bit down onto the mouth guards as I tried to hold back a scream ”ok, almost done, how are you doing? ” He asked as I lifted my thumb ”now we will insert the chip ” He felt him slip something into the cut and grabbed the table, growling at the pain.

Everyone went silent as they waited to see if my body would accept it, little did they know I pulled the chip into my body and slowly healed the scar, the doctor stepped back in surprise as I let out a yelp and lowered my head shivering, the heart monitor was going crazy along with my blood pressure, I kept my head down trying to stop when the door of the operation room open; Steve marched in as my subconsciousness took me.

….

The bar was roaring with life, soldiers walking in and out, most drunk off their asses, watching Peggy and me standing at the door, I took a deep breath in when she turned towards me:

”Are you going in? ” She asked as I just stared at the place in dread.

”Just a minute, ” I said as she walked up the steps, I couldn help but the wandering eyes that followed her in.

Suddenly this squeezing feeling caught my stomach and I pressed my hand against the velvet dress Peggy had borrowed me for tonight, it felt expensive and the rich maroon colour was adding the needed red to my cheeks and living up my olive skin tone, it wasn tight but it did hold my body, I was trying to focus on anything but the man standing in the bar even if it was describing this dress over and over again.

I thought back to Steves words and I had to do this, just showing up tomorrow wasn an option:

I walked into the facility escorted by a soldier who was very nervous on our ride down here, he gestured to Colonel Philips who didn stand too far off, amongst men and women were hard at work, I spotted Steve leaning over a map that was about the size of a room, Mr Stark looked up at me and winked before continuing his statement:

” And Im rather fond of the laws of physics… ” he said before leaving with Hydra Cartridge while Phillips moved toward the room-sized map table.

Colonel over the map ”These are all of Hydras factories. ” I stood back not wanting to interrupt

Steve reassured him ”The ones we know about. But Sgt. Barnes said Hydra shipped all the bombs to another facility. And that…wasn on the map. ” Colonel Phillips studies the map, deciding, then walks toward his office.

I quickly followed behind them not wanting to be left out.

”Agent Carter, coordinate with MI6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main Hydra base. ” He commanded as she stepped forward.

”What about us? ” She enquired as Colonel smirked

”We
e going to light a fire under

Johann Schmidts ass. ” He commented as she left, she gave me a short smile as the Colonel turned to Steve ”What do you say, Rogers? Its your map. Think you can wipe Hydra off it? ” Steve stares, finally given the responsibility hes wanted.

”Im going to need a team. ” He remarks as I just stand outside the door.

Colonel smiles with a bit of relief ”Weve already started lining up the best men- ” but he cut off by the soldier

”If you don mind, sir…so Have I, ” Steve mentions that Colonels eyes found mine.

The Colonel stands ”Uh, Miss Johnson, come in ” Steve turns to me in fright.

”You wanted to see me, Colonel, ” I said as Steve looked between us and shook his head.

”No, ” he said as he grabbed the table.

”What, ” I asked as the Colonel looked at me.

”She has the power we need to defeat Schmidt and she doesn have much of a choice, the higher up wants her to defend this country, ” I sat down in the nearest chair as the Colonel stood and took my shoulder.

”No, she has just come from hell, torture and you want her to go back again ” Steve shouted as the Colonel just stared at him.

”We are dealing with powers and beliefs that are beyond our control, she is all we have ” Colonel phrased in a cold voice, assisting his dominance.

I sat there thinking all I had been through, from my father to being tortured for my powers, then I thought of Bucky, him surrendering the same faith or worse, then I thought to the countless of wives whose husbands didn come back or the son who didn get to see their birthday then I thought to people suffering in German, as their lives, their dignity, their very soul being stripped and taken because they were different, this overwhelming feeling settled in my stomach and I shot up; silencing the two men:

”I will do it, ” I said as Steve grabbed my hands

He looked into my eyes ”What? ” He whispered as if the Colonel couldn hear us.

”I have to do this ” I looked into his eyes ”this man, Hydra, took everything from me, I can let them do that to anyone else, I have to stop it, I have to stop him ” I was shaking as Steve grabbed my hand and pulled me out the Colonels office, we dragged me towards a secluded area between file racks.

Steve placed me behind him as he turned around to see if anyone was near ”this is wrong, you are still weak and you haven rested since your surgery, you can do this in the name of revenge ” he whispered as I stared at him and pulled my hand away.

I wrapped my arms around myself ”this is not revenged ” I turned to look at him ”if this was revenge I would have had Schmidt head on a stick, this… ” I paused looking at my feet ”this is me, find closer and get myself back ” I began to shake again, so I stuffed my hands into my pockets ”you don know what they did to me, what they can do to others, I survived because of my curse but some won ” I let out a shaky breath ”if I don stop him now, I don think I will ever make the nightmares stop ” I whispered ”I feel like a visitor in my mind, I just want this whole thing to… ” I couldn finish my words when a throaty heaving entered my chest and I almost fell but Steve grabbed me, he pulled me close as tears shattered down my face.

He kissed my forehead ”whatever it takes but what about Bucky? ” He asked as he rubbed my head.

”What about Bucky…. ” I whispered as someone tapped me on my shoulder, I turned to see a soldier I recognised from the Hydra outbreak, his dark glowing skin, bright smile and inquisitive eyes caught me off guard.

”You are ok? Miss ” he asked as I nodded with a smile as I turned to look at the building once more ”are you looking for someone? ” He asked ”Captain America?… ”

”No, I am just building up the courage to face someone ” I whispered which he caught and smiled.

He smiled ”no worries, let me help ” he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, I started to protest ”something you just have to jump in, eyes closed and feet first ” he smiled as we entered the busy bar, I just nodded at him as I wrapped my arms around myself ”You could join us at our table until your courage is built up, ” he smiles brightly before I could answer when Bucky appears next to me.

Bucky grabs my waist and pulls me towards him as I stiffen under his aggressive touch, he notices it because he notices everything but he chose to ignore it ”Her courage is well built, soldier ” he growled at the soldier, raised his hands and backed off.

Bucky suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me through the bar, opened the door and down an alleyway, he pulled me to the furthest part before we stopped. ”Bucky ” I whimpered in longing but he answered my calls as soon as the words left my mouth.

He pulled me into his arm, practically hiding me in them, I was hit with his presence, his warmth and his scent, I melted into a puddle at his feet ”Tamara ” he whimpered that ended in a deep growl ”I thought, God, I thought you were imprisoned, I couldn get to you, I couldn protect you ” He pulled away to look into my eyes.

”Buck ” I whispered as he gave me a soft kiss, a kiss so pure it almost made me cry.

”We need to get you on the first flight back home, ” he said as he grabbed, ready to leave but I stopped.

”I can go home, I have no home ” he stiffened as the words fell out of my mouth ”Bucky, My father is dead ” I couldn get the words to come out but when they did, they were filled with pain.

He pulled me into his arms, he knew I would crumble ”doll, I am so sorry ” he whispered against my hair ”its ok, you can stay at our place until… ” he pulled me away to look into my eyes and realized ”you are not leaving ” he let his hands fall to my side.

”Buck, I have to stay, I have to make sure that Schmidt doesn do what he did to me ” I stated as Bucky grabbed my hands.

”You don have to do that, Its not your job, its ours ” he whispered as if the words would hurt me.

I pulled away from my hands ”its my responsibility, I have hurt so much, Buck, I can stand by and let them hurt more people, I need to do this ” I argued as he pulled me against him as if our distance was pulling me away.

He huffed, bringing my hands to his lips ”no, you don , you need rest and comfort, you don need this hurt, please you need to go home ” he said ”can let you do this, I am meant to protect you and I can like this ” he whispered as I stepped away.

I just stared at him ”you can let me, then don ” I turned to leave, wrapped my arms around myself, I heard him call my name but I kept walking.

I slowly made my way up the stairs of Peggys apartment building, I stepped into the cosy small English apartment and gratefully pulled my shoes off and moved to the guest room, I tried to zip off my dress when a pair of fingers grabbed it and began to pull it down, I turned around in fright to find Bucky standing behind me but all he did was spin me around and zipped down my dress, his finger lingered down me exposed back as he skipped off my bra and went until my petticoat; the fabric pooled at my feet as I let out a sign.

I felt his shirt settle on my shoulders as he pulled down my petticoat, I turned around to see him in his boxers and vest, I took a step back to admire his build but before I could he pulled me against him while I let out an involuntary gasp, we looked into each eye, hazel looking on blue as the atmosphere around us grew into thick musty air, he leaned his head into my bubble while he gripped my waist; skin to skin as I let my head fall onto his shoulder and I exhaled, he lifted my chin to look into his eyes as lips took mine.

The kiss was infused with raw uninterrupted passion, it stripped the walls within me, leaving my body tender and bare for his touch, my finger trailed towards his hair as he moaned into my lips, I felt the vibration move through my body as he grabbed my head pressing our lips together even more like we weren close enough, once my hands found the soft strands of his head; he pushed me away in panic while I looked up at him shocked at this sudden movement.

He turned his back, grabbing his head. I moved towards him as I wrapped my arms around his back, pressing my face into his back ”not tonight ” he whispered ”we can tonight ” it sounded like a plea with himself, I moved around to look up at him.

I pouted looking into his eyes as I looped my arms around his neck and pulled his head down to settle on my forehead ”Bucky ” I pleaded, feeling this urge to feel him, a deep desire to feel his skin against mine.

He bit his lips ”not tonight, Doll, you need to rest for tomorrow ” his voice growled through the empty room as he lifted me and walked towards the bed, he set me down to open the bed as I watched him closely, he sat on the bed with his head leaning back on the headrest.

He turned his head towards me as I crawled onto the bed and into his lap, he covered us with a blanket as I laid my head against his chest, I took a breath in of his sweet scent of fresh Balsam and exhaled softly ”I love you ” I whispered into his chest.

”I love you too ” he whispered as he caressed my head ”rest, doll ”